Aries: I’m better than all of you assholes.
Taurus: I could eat some cake right now.
Gemini: I’m going to pretend I care about what you just said.
Cancer: I need hugs and cookies.
Leo: Fuck u bitch I’m fabulous, bow down to me.
Virgo: You’re all uncultured swines.
Libra: Stop war hug more.
Scorpio: I tired of your bullshit, I just wanna sleep.
Sagittarius: I wanna fuck your girlfriend.
Capricorn: Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Aquarius: I’m hot and gay.
Pisces: Fuck my life.
most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person
there’s a tool for that
in what realm would i need to make pasta for a horse
It’s for when you’re AS HUNGRY AS A HORSE